Coping in Crisis
It is an honor and privilege to be part of another ministry that helps women in crisis called Pampering & Hope. It is wonderful resource for women who are experiencing diseases and other major struggles. For their website www.pamperingandhope.org I wrote the following:
What is a crisis? It means different things to different people. I crisis for me won't be a crisis for you and vice versa. The way we view life and the way we conceptualize the situations in our life in large part is related to the struggles, successes, failures and events of our past. Therefore, how we deal with a crisis today might reflect how our parents coped with crisis, the values we were taught, or the lessons of life learned. There are many factors and variables that will affect how you cope with the struggles your are facing.
A silly example we can all relate to is, running late to work and low and behold the gas gage is on empty. The first thoughts are "Can I make it? Where is the next gas station? How much time do I have?" Others might think, "Oh no, my husband will kill me if I have to call him again to come put gas in my car." Or others might add, Oh No, I just spent my last $5.00 to feed my kids last night. Lord help me make it to work." Much of these thought process will be based on past experiences, life lessons, examples of parents etc.
The most beautiful thing to me as a counselor is when I get to help someone deal with the present struggle in a new and different way. In a way that honors God. In a way that gives Him glory, In a way that solidifies their faith and comittment to Him and in ways that lead them deeper in their relationship with God.
Over the course of the next several weeks and months, while I am still highlighting resources I will be sharing ideas, suggestions, and tools to use to help you deal with your crisis. Using an example of Job in the Bible, let me first point out that Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong. God says Job "Held fast his integrity". (Job 2:2) What a beautiful and wonderful thing to be said of a person. As the story unfolds further we will see and learn many other things. But, let me first say that holding fast one's integrity is no the absence of emotion, pain, struggle, hurt. Job did not deny his circumstance. Earlier in chapter one, Job arose tore his robe, shaved his head and fell to the ground and worshipped. I am certain that Job did not jump, dance and leap with thanksgiving that he had just suffered so much loss. He didn't pretend everything was "fine". He didn't ignore his loss, minimize it, justify it or even exaggerate it. He acknowledged it all the while he still worshipped God. This is evidenced in shaving his head, tearing his robe. (Cultural/visible signs used to show mourning). Job did not hide his pain. In fact, later in the story you will see that his friends did not even recognize him because he looked so pitiful.
There are so many unhealthy, maladaptive ways of coping with emotional and physical pain. We will talk and highlight those. But the first therapeutic tool I would like to suggest is to write your story and then share your story.
Acknowledge and share your pain, while worshiping God at the same time!
Facing Depression In the Midst of Grief
Stages of Grief
Coping in Crisis
Happy New Year - Are your Ready?